Someone who wasn’t even mine made me feel abandoned. Maybe this is what happens when you turn your back on your commitment. I knew I wasn’t doing the best thing, but I still had to try. I was giving myself a chance, which resulted in me being a fool in my own eyes. I decided not to think about Madhav anymore. I mean, it wasn’t his fault either. Poor thing, how would he know that I am a hopeless romantic falling for his voice.
Tonight, went like the hour-glass breaking itself,
a piano deciding to not tune anymore,
the river drying its path,
the flowers falling from their crown,
the sun deciding to dim itself,
the stargazers going to sleep.
Coming back to my senses, I wasn’t heartbroken. I was sad, a little too sad, but just sad. But I was hopeful. So the next day, I decided to go back to track and maintain my otherwise hyper mind.
“Hi, when can I give you the files?”
But life had other plans!
“I am a bit busy today, Madhav. Would next week be fine?”
“The files are quite big and taking up a lot of space. If it’s okay for you, can we schedule a little earlier?”
Madhav was desperate to kick me out of his life. Technically, he didn’t want me to fall ever again, for him or on the floor, whatever. That’s quite what I felt at that moment. But how could a sweet guy like him be so cruel, or was I the clown? I guess I was!
“I’ll let you know.” I didn’t want to do it all over again. So it was best to keep him away.
“By the way, can I tell you something?”
“Yeah, sure.” WHAT? NOW WHAT? This guy has committed to keeping me on the hang.
“I clicked your pictures. You are gorgeous. Also, you did a good job yesterday.”
DID HE JUST? Did he just tell me that he noticed me? Should I melt? I don’t mind being a clown again. Is this a trick? Is this what butterflies-in-stomach feels like?
“Thank you, Madhav. You did a good job as well. Although, I have something to ask you too.”
Here I go. Once again. Wearing a red balloon on my nose.
“Of course, please tell me.”
“So, don’t take it otherwise, I know you said you have a girlfriend, yet one of my friends is insisting on knowing if that’s true.”
“What did she exactly ask?” I could hear him giggling through his texts.
“Are you single?” my mind was begging me to not do this but my heart, my heart spoke about another chance.
My heart didn’t know what to want from you, but if tonight, you want me to cut it open, I will gladly do so!
“I AM!”
“So why did you lie?” I sounded like a child winning over his mom for ice cream.