Positive #napowrimo | WissenMonk

Positive//

Waiting for my turn outside the chamber,

Counting the certificates displayed on the walls,

I keep staring at the doctor's photograph.

I have met him earlier,

My current psychiatrist.

And my mother thinks he is better.

My parents keep begging me to be more optimistic,

So do my relatives.

And as for friends, I have none.

They were all hypocrites.

That's what I hear.

But I had a lover once,

As I still have traces of his memories.

Were we married too?

I can't recall exactly.

Back in my parents bedroom,

There is a photograph of me with a young man holding a toddler.

Was that our daughter?

What happened to them?

I have no answers.

Now when I glance in a mirror,

I see a middle aged women with a streak of grey hair and two dull eyes.

When did I grow so old?

Wasn't I till yesterday, a dotting teenage daughter?

Why things are so jumbled up inside my mind?

Sometimes I scream in frustration,

How long? I don't remember.

But often I end up in a sanitorium,

Waking up to a heavy dose of Valium.

Then a nurse would come and tie my hair.

She will dictate the benefits of positive thinking,

With a rehearsed smile.

I would beg her to reveal what had happened to my husband and my daughter.

The nurse would simply laugh,

And tell me that I am just a 15 years old teenager.